Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Parenting Books -- are they worth it?

I'm having issues with my 3-year old.  Nothing I that I don't think most parents go through but she is my first child and in many ways, I am clueless.

I read parenting books.  Sometimes.  I prefer novels quite frankly.  But there are some good ones out there, and some not so good ones.  I have liked:

But here's the thing.  As much as I like a book, when it comes to the moment, I can't pull out the chapter on making no mean no or on disciplining with rewards or when punishment is appropriate.  That was something like 200 pages ago and it's competing with a whole list of other things in my brain like baby shower planning, my mom coming to visit, cleaning the house, working on quilts, planning preschool for Wednesday -- you know, every day gotta do it stuff.

That's why reference-type books are awesome!  I love love love the What to Expect books and this particular nursing book:
If I have a problem, I look it up!

But behavioral analysis and advice doesn't exactly work that way it seems.
So my lightbulb!  (It's only taken how long for this one to come up?)

Step 1:  Isolate your problem (for me, currently, how to make no mean no)
Step 2:  Find a solution -- just one, but make it one you like and can do
Step 3:  Simplify it so it will fit on one sheet of paper in large letters.
Step 4:  Makes lots of copies.
Step 5:  Hang them all over the house.

Ok that might only work if your child can't read.
But I'm thinking, this is the way that I can do it!  When my 3-year old does something I don't want her to do, I say no.  And then when she does it again, out of the corner of my eye I see that sign that says "after the first no, take her to her room" and I'll do it!

Then I just have to remember to follow up with hugs and praise when she listens after the first no.
But I think I can do that.